I'm exhausted and have mixed feelings about a lot of things. For the past 12 years I was president of an all volunteer depression and bipolar support group chapter. I've been having a hard time with facilitators either not stepping up to facilitate or signing up to facilitate a group. I understand the ones who can't. They are tending to sick parents, working odd hours, etc. My problem is with the ones who won't sign up in advance and commit to facilitating the meetings. Last night, one person was facilitating our Thursday night group in the Loop. We need 2 people at those meetings because the attendance is usually pretty large and we need to break into two groups. One of the people who lives just south of the Loop backed out at the last minute because he was "too tired". He didn't try to arrange a replacement in the group chat. So I was left with one facilitator for that group. I live about 20 minutes away but don't normally attend that group because downtown parking is expensive and I have a very limited budget. He has done this before, but there are usually backups in attendance. I found this out at 5:50. The meeting starts at 6. Nobody responded to my texts. So I had to step in at the last minute. To complicate matters, there was a shooting on I290 last night so the road I usually take was closed. So I had to drive over the city. It took about 30 minutes. In that time, nobody bothered to text the group saying that someone stepped in at the last minute. I lost my temper. I sent a text to the group stating that after our meeting tomorrow, I'm out until the end of the year and I'm done running the group. I just had it with begging people to take responsibility for something they volunteered for and always having to step in to make things work. I've been in a leadership position with them for 16 years and president for 12. I kept things running through the plague and managed a merger of two chapters. I helped start groups with members who moved to Texas and India. I've written emergency procedures to handle people that come to meetings during psychotic episodes or people who come to meetings who are suicidal or homicidal. I just can't do this anymore. I just want the groups to be facilitated. That's really all I ask. So I'm finally stepping down. They will need to figure it out without me even though I'll still step in to advise if asked.
Sorry to write a book with this post but the back story is important.