Mental health check-in

[PunkKitty]

^^^ I'm glad that you found someone else. I walked out of a session with my last psychiatrist when he told me to go get ECT because the med combination he prescribed wasn't working and he refused to deviate from my Genesight profile. I ended up finding a Psychiatric Nurse Patictioner who, after some trial and error (which I expect) devised a cocktail of buproprion, lamotragine, and duloxetine that I have been on for at least 7 years. We tweek the dosages here and there, but for the most part, I have been stable. And that's all I ask for out of psych meds. I don't expect to be dancing in the streets, but stability works. She has honestly been one of the best psychiatrists that I've ever had.

 

[jp_nyc]

Abilify is weird. I’ve been trying it before bed. It makes me sleepy so I take it and crash. Then, two or three hours later, I wake up and insomnia kicks in. But this stuff is supposed to pass over a few weeks so I guess I’ll wait it out. Unfortunately I can’t also take Xanax, Ambien, or cannabis to knock me out because it will make all the side effects worse. On the upside, once I’m out of be I feel pretty good.

 

[Pine Apple Slim]

I went thru various antidepressants back when I was still working and had 2 parents in and out of the nursing home or 24 hr at home care for 4-5 yrs running. I was an only child, and taking care of my own household plus managing their affairs, and my wife's alcohol problem. I was just completely stressed out. Some drugs made me listless and apathetic, some did nothing that I could tell, and they all seemed to make the old guy "performance" problem worse. The only things that really helped was a change in circumstances, the eventual end of the parental care, retirement, and getting a divorce.

 

[jp_nyc]

I texted my old doctor to tell him that we’re breaking up. He did not respond. I would try contacting him some other way but he prefers to text on a patients-only phone. If he tries to bill me for today’s appointment I’m getting the charges reversed.

Unfortunately I have to discontinue the Abilify. It was causing brutal insomnia. I was hoping it would go away as I got used to the drug but it keeps getting worse. Last night I nuked by brain with edibles so I could just sleep and even with that I woke up a few times. So I took a Xanax and I still woke up three times in three hours. This sucks because it was working at first until the lack of sleep started making me increasingly hypomanic and the last thing I need is to have it turn into full blown manic episode and wake up in a psych ward.

 

[jbj]

Mojo @jp_nyc watch what you're putting into your body (he said haughtily while drinking a bottle of Aldi wine watching Diners, Drive Ins and Dives!)

On a serious note I hope you find some equilibrium that works for you and fuck that guy - a doctor that wants you to text?!?!?

Tomorrow is our last full day before the holidays, we finish lunchtime on Friday. We had our senior leavers breakfast today - really nice little thing we do. Parents carers etc. come in we do some videos of them throughout the years, messages from staff etc. hand out awards and feed everyone.

My career trajectory means Ive not taught these kids since they were in the lower school but they're a great bunch and will be really missed. I can still viscerally remember double periods of history with them on a Friday morning trying to keep the wee dude with ADHD in his seat and explaining to the most able kid that while his robot cowboy drawings are really good (which they were) were doing the Scottish Wars of Independence and I really needed him to actually do the enquiry skills question on whatever source we were working on

I'm still waiting to hear what's happening with my job. In theory after Thursday everything reverts to the status quo.

Its been ok stepping up but it's very different from my official role. I don't hate it but I wouldn't say Ive enjoyed it either - I do have a gut feeling it's going to roll over into next session

 

[jp_nyc]

A texting doctor isn’t necessarily bad. Psychiatrists have wild schedules to work in regular patients, emergency appointments, dealing with insurance companies, drug companies, other doctors, inpatient facilities, etc. If you have to call a doctor then you usually have to leave a message and wait for them to have time to listen to all of their voice mail and call you back, then it turns into phone tag. With texting both of you can just fit messages in whenever time allows.

 

[jp_nyc]

Abilify was a disaster. It gave me horrible insomnia which makes me hypomanic which makes my ADHD worse. So I’m moving to seroquel next. It’s nice to have a provider who wants to just keep trying instead of keeping me on the same shit forever.

 

[jbj]

Got a really nice email from my gaffer today thanking me for stepping up when she's been away, always being there for the kids and school etc.

She's assured me she'll be back for the start of next session and wants to discuss depute and headteacher cpd opportunities for me moving forward!

I fired out a cheeky depute application a few weeks back. I didn't even get an interview which didn't bother me but professional etiquette= I told her I was going got it and I fear she now thinks I'm determined to land a permanent depute job and wants to hand me more responsibility : facepalm:

I'm sure come August that'll be something I'm up for,just now I just want to get to the end of the day tomorrow without any drama and then I can enjoy my summer holiday.

 

[jbj]

I've got quite a few trips going on over the school holidays so I've been determined to be constructive around the house every day outwith this.

I bought a pergola recently as our raised deck is really exposed to people walking by. It has shades that can cover all sides so i can sit in my knickers drinking prosecco and playing oasis sings on my acoustic of a summer evening now without people gawking in

Got it bolted down yesterday, pressure washed all of the patio furniture and today have had a lovely afternoon with Mrs jbj lounging around it, reading, drinking cocktails, pottering off for a bit of gardening or to chat with the neighbours and so on.

This house has been a tonne of work and £££ and it'll continue to be but 2 and a half years in I still catch myself now and again feeling really happy and proud that we're fortunate enough to have such a nice place. This is going to be a great space for the unwinding, relaxing and the soul.