"Tired of being alone. 5 beautiful acres in the country..."

[gibby mcfender]

So I'm uploading the list online of today's submissions for the Swap Shop (where people usually buy/sell/trade car grills, furniture, old cars, animals, etc)... then there came this...

"Looking to settle down:
Tired of being along. 5 acres in the country. Need someone to put a home on my so the kids can play on my beautiful grass. Plenty of room for horses and I have a creek running through the back. Some trees for birds and deer to hide in. I’m really worth the look. Call my machine I’m ready to talk
731-796-xxxx"

Seems a bit sad, and a bit messedup0

 

[Kerouac]

Yeah, that's a bit creepy.

 

[dodgechargerfan]

Reads like one of those cutesy ads where the thing for sale is talking about itself.

The 5 acres in the country is lonely and wants someone to build a home on it....

Yeah... messedup0

 

[Devil is Dill]

Reads like one of those cutesy ads where the thing for sale is talking about itself.

The 5 acres in the country is lonely and wants someone to build a home on it....

Yeah... messedup0

Actually, now that re-read the thing a few times I think that's what it is. They're selling real estate, not hooking up for fake crab meat.

 

[Denverdave]

Actually, now that re-read the thing a few times I think that's what it is. They're selling real estate, not hooking up for fake crab meat.

I think so......too bad about the krab meat though.....

 

[Lerxst]

"Looking to settle down:
Tired of being along. 5 acres in the country. Need someone to put a home on my so the kids can play on my beautiful grass. Plenty of room for horses and I have a creek running through the back. Some trees for birds and deer to hide in. I’m really worth the look. Call my machine I’m ready to talk
731-796-xxxx"

sounds like someone might be doing their own Marry/F*ck/Kill game in real life

 

[gibby mcfender]

Reads like one of those cutesy ads where the thing for sale is talking about itself.

Yup. Creative. But still strange.

 

[jbj]

Anyone getting a Misery vibe?

 

[affy]

Sporting man with butcher knife looking for woman with inability to run---for long-lasting relationship, but we'll take one day at a time.
Beautiful cemetary in the middle of 500 heavily wooded acres.
Call 555-555-5555.

 

[Tiltsta]

Dear [perspective home builder and family],

Please come build a lovely home for you and your children on my [empty plot of land with a mass grave for previous advert respondents]