Where in the World is Peen Simmons

Raleigh, NC

Nah. I missed that one. Made someone else go.

Today I made a pitstop in America’s buttcrack and now I’m in hell. Literal hell. America’s worst metro?

Seriously, had to get into it with the rental car folks because they were all about ambient shittiness and then tried to give me a lecture on how hard their day was. First vehicle was still full of half eaten food and wrappers. I’m not persnickety but this was sizable “this car hasn’t even had the trash and half chewed gunk removed from the console” stuff. Now I’m driving a fucking minivan that smells like pet and deodorizer.

Left my home at 5am. Checked into my hotel at 8:30. Currently at the goddamn Applebees for the second fucking impossible burger of the day.
 
Nah. I missed that one. Made someone else go.

Today I made a pitstop in America’s buttcrack and now I’m in hell. Literal hell. America’s worst metro?

Seriously, had to get into it with the rental car folks because they were all about ambient shittiness and then tried to give me a lecture on how hard their day was. First vehicle was still full of half eaten food and wrappers. I’m not persnickety but this was sizable “this car hasn’t even had the trash and half chewed gunk removed from the console” stuff. Now I’m driving a fucking minivan that smells like pet and deodorizer.

Left my home at 5am. Checked into my hotel at 8:30. Currently at the goddamn Applebees for the second fucking impossible burger of the day.
Worst metro. Has to be Houston.
 
I had a job in Dallas for a few months. I was not a fan. Deep Ellum has some ok bars, but not sure if they are contrarian enough for you. Fort Worth is pretty ok. I went to Alaska for a couple weeks when I finished that one as a pallet cleanser. Mojo.
 
I had a job in Dallas for a few months. I was not a fan. Deep Ellum has some ok bars, but not sure if they are contrarian enough for you. Fort Worth is pretty ok. I went to Alaska for a couple weeks when I finished that one as a pallet cleanser. Mojo.
Yeah, Dallas has been a pretty big drag. I’m looking forward to my next trip which is to the Romanian hinterlands where I’m going to help some old guy with a complicated real estate transaction. Guy also wants some English language lessons. Weird but okay I guess

Should be a better business trip then Dallas.

*shrug*
 
We have some exciting new locations scheduled for May as well as an old fav. Then who knows what the summer brings. At least one more return trip to somewhere that sucks all balls.

Currently Peen Simmons is stuck at the airport and his flight is delayed. And this place doesn’t have a fancy lounge that his corporate card can get him into. So it’s sad times in Peen City.
 
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