The official "Jokes that Prages won't get/find funny" thread!
- Thread starter baimun
- Start date
Eminence_Front
Osiris Chickenfingers
tiger roach
Urban Bovine Knievel
Gary Blanchard
beloved, local musician
BoomBoomBigelow
Genius of Love
BoomBoomBigelow
Genius of Love
You know you're a Star Wars geek when...
When you pass out while trying to move a pencil across the desk with the Force.
When you get jealous of luke because his light saber is double the size of yours
You found this page with intentions of locating the Star Wars "greek" club.
You would love to have Frank Oz stick his hand up your ass so you can be as wise as Yoda
When you get into a fight, you automaticly find yourself reaching for a lightsaber...
If you get your head stuck in a bucket pretending your Darth Vader.
When you spend time watching the Star Wars trilogy because you think there will be a test on it later.
You punch out trekkies who say "Death star my ass, I'd like to see those losers take out DS9".
With a blue-tinted plastic tube, a flashlight, two hours of a saturday night, and 4 rolls of blue electrical tape, you finally complete your own working "Light-saber"
Your room is filthy except for your "Star Wars Area."
You put on a luminous coloured condom and walk around humming, pretending you're a light-saber
You name your right hand 'Leia'
You waste three hours and 8,000 brain cells a day coming up with jokes for this page.
You think you are the life of the party because you imitate Yoda's voice and have him say things a Jedi master wouldn't say.
Whenever you get in trouble, you mutter "I have a bad feeling about this."
When you listen for Obi-Wan while attempting to parralell park.
When your father asks you how fast your car is, you reply,"Fast enough for you, old man."
When you need to go to the toilet, you say "Intensify Foward firepower, I don't want anything to get through"
You ram a model X-Wing up someone else's ******* and congratulate yourself for finding the only weak spot.
Your girlfriend is called "Jabba the Slut."
You don't have any money to buy food or clothes but you have a kick-ass STAR WARS collection.
You swear you saw Obi-Wan in your Cheerios.
You get caught doing your Darth Vader impression in the bathroom. (what are you doing in there son? *heavy breathing*YOUR POWERS ARE WEAK OLD MAN!!!!)
When you wake up screaming, "Luke it's a trap!"
You know you're a Star Wars geek when you unsuccessfully get the last cheerio in the bowl and instinctively mutter, "The Force is strong in this one."
You start to see visions of Ben Kenobi telling you to go to bed.
When you spend eight hours at the library printing this crap out over and over...
When your girlfriend says you have a small dick and you say "You underestimate the power of the force."
You Find yourself Getting Beaten up for saying everyone's lines 2 seconds before they do in the theatre.
When you pass out while trying to move a pencil across the desk with the Force.
When you get jealous of luke because his light saber is double the size of yours
You found this page with intentions of locating the Star Wars "greek" club.
You would love to have Frank Oz stick his hand up your ass so you can be as wise as Yoda
When you get into a fight, you automaticly find yourself reaching for a lightsaber...
If you get your head stuck in a bucket pretending your Darth Vader.
When you spend time watching the Star Wars trilogy because you think there will be a test on it later.
You punch out trekkies who say "Death star my ass, I'd like to see those losers take out DS9".
With a blue-tinted plastic tube, a flashlight, two hours of a saturday night, and 4 rolls of blue electrical tape, you finally complete your own working "Light-saber"
Your room is filthy except for your "Star Wars Area."
You put on a luminous coloured condom and walk around humming, pretending you're a light-saber
You name your right hand 'Leia'
You waste three hours and 8,000 brain cells a day coming up with jokes for this page.
You think you are the life of the party because you imitate Yoda's voice and have him say things a Jedi master wouldn't say.
Whenever you get in trouble, you mutter "I have a bad feeling about this."
When you listen for Obi-Wan while attempting to parralell park.
When your father asks you how fast your car is, you reply,"Fast enough for you, old man."
When you need to go to the toilet, you say "Intensify Foward firepower, I don't want anything to get through"
You ram a model X-Wing up someone else's ******* and congratulate yourself for finding the only weak spot.
Your girlfriend is called "Jabba the Slut."
You don't have any money to buy food or clothes but you have a kick-ass STAR WARS collection.
You swear you saw Obi-Wan in your Cheerios.
You get caught doing your Darth Vader impression in the bathroom. (what are you doing in there son? *heavy breathing*YOUR POWERS ARE WEAK OLD MAN!!!!)
When you wake up screaming, "Luke it's a trap!"
You know you're a Star Wars geek when you unsuccessfully get the last cheerio in the bowl and instinctively mutter, "The Force is strong in this one."
You start to see visions of Ben Kenobi telling you to go to bed.
When you spend eight hours at the library printing this crap out over and over...
When your girlfriend says you have a small dick and you say "You underestimate the power of the force."
You Find yourself Getting Beaten up for saying everyone's lines 2 seconds before they do in the theatre.
BoomBoomBigelow
Genius of Love
When... Your first sentence was "I have a bad feeling about this."
When you find yourself quoting the opening lines of "A New Hope".....and don't stop until 125 minutes later.
You curse out people that go,"Yeah! I know who Obi-Wan Kenobi is! Isn't he that guy with the funky ears that goes,"Live Long and Prosper?"
You punch out people that say,"But I thought Han Solo flew the Enterprise?"
You can't resist to hum when you turn on a flashlight
Before sex, you look at your penis and say "Get in there, you furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
You're a Star Wars geek when your teacher hands you your test back and says "commas are your weakness." You shoot back: "And your faith in your friends is yours!"
When someone talks about people getting abducted by little green men you say, "Yoda would never do such a thing!"
38. you actually feel the need to attack Star Wars geeks with a camera to prove that you are not of their kind.
After looking at your tiny dick you remember yoda's saying "size matters not."
When, you're drunker than you've ever been in your life and still know that the possibilitiy of successfully navigating an asteroid field is 3,720 to one.
You buy 2 copies of the trilogy just so you could have the full Darth Vader Helmet.
You've wached the trilogy more times than mark hammil.
When you heard of Titanic getting more money than Star Wars, you immediately reached for your home-made lightsaber and started a hunt for James Cameron.
You respond to your friends taunting of "HA! HA! Titanic beat Star Wars!" by clenching your teeth and grunting "We'll get 'em in the prequels"
You sabotage the Titanic theatre to play Star Wars: A New Hope when the ship starts to sink.
You call in bomb threats every time Titanic starts playing and then start giggling uncontrollably when you watch the people running out.
You finnally figure out that ANH rearanged is Han
You point out to people that given inflation Star Wars kicked Titanic's Ass by nearly 300 million.
When your boss forwards all of your checks to the local Star Wars supplier.
The first thing you think of when you hear the words "hot, wet and horny" is a sweating bantha.
During sex, you're still rearanging the figures on your shelf.
You stand up a date to put jokes on this page.
You go to star wars conventions with the sole purpose of getting laid.
Aminitor
You wake up with a hangover blood on your hands and a ripped t-shirt that says trekkies forever
You have a tan line from your Darth Vader helment.
When you find yourself quoting the opening lines of "A New Hope".....and don't stop until 125 minutes later.
You curse out people that go,"Yeah! I know who Obi-Wan Kenobi is! Isn't he that guy with the funky ears that goes,"Live Long and Prosper?"
You punch out people that say,"But I thought Han Solo flew the Enterprise?"
You can't resist to hum when you turn on a flashlight
Before sex, you look at your penis and say "Get in there, you furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
You're a Star Wars geek when your teacher hands you your test back and says "commas are your weakness." You shoot back: "And your faith in your friends is yours!"
When someone talks about people getting abducted by little green men you say, "Yoda would never do such a thing!"
38. you actually feel the need to attack Star Wars geeks with a camera to prove that you are not of their kind.
After looking at your tiny dick you remember yoda's saying "size matters not."
When, you're drunker than you've ever been in your life and still know that the possibilitiy of successfully navigating an asteroid field is 3,720 to one.
You buy 2 copies of the trilogy just so you could have the full Darth Vader Helmet.
You've wached the trilogy more times than mark hammil.
When you heard of Titanic getting more money than Star Wars, you immediately reached for your home-made lightsaber and started a hunt for James Cameron.
You respond to your friends taunting of "HA! HA! Titanic beat Star Wars!" by clenching your teeth and grunting "We'll get 'em in the prequels"
You sabotage the Titanic theatre to play Star Wars: A New Hope when the ship starts to sink.
You call in bomb threats every time Titanic starts playing and then start giggling uncontrollably when you watch the people running out.
You finnally figure out that ANH rearanged is Han
You point out to people that given inflation Star Wars kicked Titanic's Ass by nearly 300 million.
When your boss forwards all of your checks to the local Star Wars supplier.
The first thing you think of when you hear the words "hot, wet and horny" is a sweating bantha.
During sex, you're still rearanging the figures on your shelf.
You stand up a date to put jokes on this page.
You go to star wars conventions with the sole purpose of getting laid.
Aminitor
You wake up with a hangover blood on your hands and a ripped t-shirt that says trekkies forever
You have a tan line from your Darth Vader helment.
BoomBoomBigelow
Genius of Love
Why the Chicken Crossed the Road..In the Words of the Star Wars Characters
YODA: Crossing the road makes not a chicken great.
VADER: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.
LUKE: Crossing the road is one thing, this is.... totally different.
LUKE: I want to follow the ways of the chicken and cross the road like my father.
LEIA: I don't know... but I have a bad feeling about this.
HAN: Hurry up, colonel sanders, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!
THREEPIO: I am fluent in over six million ways of crossing the road.
ARTOO: beep beep be bop.
CHEWIE: Gwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrlllllll!
BEN: Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me.
BOBA FETT: What if the chicken doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me!
WEDGE: My scope shows the other side but it looks really far, are you sure you can cross it?
JERJERROD: The chicken is crossing the road? We shall double our efforts.
BIB: Die chicken wanga?
BIGGS: At that speed, will you be able to cross in time?
TARKIN: The regional governors now have direct control over their chickens. Fear will keep those chickens in line... fear of getting hit by a car!
UNCLE OWEN: I told you to forget it. You're only concern is to cross that road.
AUNT BERU: He can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have already crossed. It means so much to him.
ADMIRAL ACKBAR: All chickens - prepare to cross the road on my mark
LANDO: Why you slimy, no good, double-crossing chicken!! You got a lot of guts crossing that road, after what you pulled!
EMPEROR: Young fool. Only now, after getting hit by a car do you understand.
JABBA: Bo shuda chicken!
YODA: Crossing the road makes not a chicken great.
VADER: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.
LUKE: Crossing the road is one thing, this is.... totally different.
LUKE: I want to follow the ways of the chicken and cross the road like my father.
LEIA: I don't know... but I have a bad feeling about this.
HAN: Hurry up, colonel sanders, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!
THREEPIO: I am fluent in over six million ways of crossing the road.
ARTOO: beep beep be bop.
CHEWIE: Gwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrlllllll!
BEN: Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me.
BOBA FETT: What if the chicken doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me!
WEDGE: My scope shows the other side but it looks really far, are you sure you can cross it?
JERJERROD: The chicken is crossing the road? We shall double our efforts.
BIB: Die chicken wanga?
BIGGS: At that speed, will you be able to cross in time?
TARKIN: The regional governors now have direct control over their chickens. Fear will keep those chickens in line... fear of getting hit by a car!
UNCLE OWEN: I told you to forget it. You're only concern is to cross that road.
AUNT BERU: He can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have already crossed. It means so much to him.
ADMIRAL ACKBAR: All chickens - prepare to cross the road on my mark
LANDO: Why you slimy, no good, double-crossing chicken!! You got a lot of guts crossing that road, after what you pulled!
EMPEROR: Young fool. Only now, after getting hit by a car do you understand.
JABBA: Bo shuda chicken!
Tig
Fucktangular
Dexter Inferno
Serious error
Luke - I am your father. Go to your room.