Yeah, definitely add music. If I'm going to donate funds to help produce an album I'd absolutley want to know what kind of music it's going to be.
I'd start out with a big hello and introduce yourself very similar to what you did. When you mention your online lessons and skype lessons, cut to a short 3-4 second clip of a lesson, something with a little talking and a little playing, then when you mention the forums, cut to a screenshot of the forums while you are still talking over it.
Then I'd go into your musical style, or your overall goal and idea for the album. Your inspiration, what you want to accomplish. This is going to get people to relate to your goal, which is going to make them want to help you reach it. If you really have a soft spot in your heart for children from abusive families and someone tells you of their goal to help those specific children in a certain way and why they're doing it, you're going to relate. If they just say they're going to help kids, then you're going to be less emotionally involved.
Then, once you explain your goal, or even as you're explaining it, have your music playing softly in the background, then cut to the music and maybe your logo for a few seconds to let it all sink in while they enjoy the tunes.
2 cents. And in full disclosure, I've never made or directed a film in my life and don't have any idea what I'm talking about.
